Known and Loved-PRIDE Month: Reflections of a Roman Catholic Woman Priest

“If you really knew me you would not love me”. I have heard this many times in my life, especially as a Pastor. And I think there are times that many people may feel this way. A young person said it to me recently as she made some career oriented decisions that upset her parents-and angered them. It is a feeling of “not enough” or even “not acceptable” or “self-doubt” or even self-hate or at least discomfort. Yet, because of the feedback often received by LGBTQIA folks the sentiment is sometimes hard for us to shake. We may doubt the goodness that we are and are meant to be as others, often religious others trying to quote the Bible, or even family members and friends struggle with our gayness.

When I first came out, as late as in my thirties, my best friend would not speak to me for over two years. Finally we talked and she was able to become her usual loving and loyal self again. My dear Mother was also hurt by the news and felt it may be “her fault”. Yet, assured nothing is wrong with me, she too went on to love me as she did before. I follow a Gay Chat list on Facebook and I am so often in pain by the stories of others who finally risked coming out and faced total rejection. And yet I am heartened as the many gatherings and shows on PBS, and parades, and the positive sharing of so many tells us that being who we are, being gay, is also a source of pride. Pride, not boasting- but Professionalism, Respect, Integrity, Diversity and Excellence-PRIDE as our hallmark. And so I want to say as we come to the end of PRIDE month, God truly knows us and loves us- and that is all we, and our detractors, need to know. I will share here some of my favorite Scriptures affirming that our loving God knows and loves us fully.

Psalm 139

I remember my 16th summer, long before I connected with who I was, aside from being a Christian who was called to follow Jesus from my early years. The teens who attended Summer Church School taught the younger grades in the morning and had our own class in the afternoon. We studied Psalm 139 all summer with a faith filled man named Hugh Thomas. The words and the spirit of that Psalm filled our lives and made it possible for me to deal with difficult times to come in my early thirties when, after ten years of marriage, I discovered that I would love both men and women in my life.And, if there really is a continuum of sexual orientation and loving I would slide over to loving women with all my being. This earned me painful rejection from some of my fellow Christians, one, a beloved leader from my youth, who said to me that I could not love women and remain a Christian and definitely not be a Pastor. The Pastor we both loved told her strongly that she was wrong, but the hurt lingered on almost until she passed and thought better of what she said. And yet, I knew all along that she was wrong. I know the love of God in Christ and it has made all the difference. So I will share some of the words from the Scriptures that helped me to know this here. There are so many affirmations of God’s love and knowledge of us but I will share my favorites here: Psalm 139; Matthew 10: 28-32 and I John 4:7-8.

Psalm 139: 1: “Oh Lord, you have searched me and known me…” went the words of Psalm 139 in the King James Version we studied.

Or in The Inclusive Bible (TIB): “YHWH you’ve searched me and you know me….You are intimate with all my ways. A word is not even on my tongue, YHWH, before you know what it is….(you are) shielding me with your hand. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,a height my mind cannot reach!

“….You created my inmost being and stitched me together in my mother’s womb. For all these mysteries I thank you–for the wonder of myself,for the wonder of your works–my soul knows it well…. How precious your thoughts are to me, O,God! How impossible to number them!…but suppose I could, you would still be with me!…. guide me in the way that is eternal”.( 139:1,4,6,13-14, 17-18, 24).

How wonderful it is to know that our Creator God fashioned us and knows us from the womb -to the tomb! And, knowing us intimately, is with us to the very end- such is God’s love for us. ALL of us without exception.

And Jesus said:

” Are not the sparrows sold for pennies? Yet not a single sparrow falls to the ground without your Abba God’s knowledge. As for you, every hair of your head has been counted. So don’t be afraid of anything –you are worth more than an entire flock of sparrows”. Whoever acknowledges me before others,I will acknowledge before Abba God in heaven… (Matthew 10:29-32).

How wonderful it is to think God , the Creator of the cosmos and of us has even the hairs on our heads numbered-knows us that well..and loves us even more. I love sparrows, all birds and all creatures great and small. But as the love song says: “I love how you love me!” Dearest God, I love how you love me, and ALL of your children no matter how different each one is.

I John 4: 16-18,21- What is love? Who is love?

” We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us. God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God,and God in them….there is no fear in love, for perfect love drives out fear….anyone who is afraid is still imperfect in love. We love God because God first loved us. If you say you love God but hate your sister or brother, you are a liar….If we love God we should love our sisters and brothers as well- we have this Commandment from God. ”

Indeed Jesus said, summarizing the Law and the Prophets in Matthew 27:37-40- Love God with all of your being and love your neighbors as yourselves. And that is the commandment John is citing here.

Let us not be afraid– let us believe the Holy Scriptures and let us hear Jesus and affirm that our loving God knows who we are and loves us fully-we are KNOWN and LOVED. My brothers and sisters, gay and straight and anywhere in between, we are known and we are loved. If anyone has a problem with that it is indeed their problem. And, yes, we will love them too.

I am so happy that I have lived most of my life now with women of deep faith who loved me and served God with me. Such love is the most beautiful gift and I thank God for it, and for them and their love.

THANKS BE TO GOD!

Bless you as you grow in love,

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH !

Pastor Judy Lee, RCWP

Rev. Dr. Judith lee, Good Shepherd Ministries, Fort Myers, Florida

6/28/2023